Sometimes, a man needs a meme to kickstart his blogging career. And Ms. Chili not only provided that, but she provided a MANLY meme. So rock it. Here goes.
1. Boxers? Briefs? Boxer briefs? Thongs? Commando?
Boxer-briefs. Best of both worlds, man. Although I often wear plain boxers around the house, as some of you might have noticed on my YouTube posts. Ahem.
2. What’s your fussiest personal care routine?
I don’t have one. I’m MANLY, dammit.
3. Do you have a favorite tool? Power or manual?
My favorite tool is my 8-core Mac Pro. My favorite non-electronic tool is a paper clip.
4. Can you change your own oil? Do you?
I could, but I don’t. And frankly, I’d need to RTFM.
5. What’s the “manliest” thing you do on a regular basis?
Bang my wife. (I’m not sayin’ “make love” during a Manly Meme!)
6. What’s something “manly” that you never learned how to do?
Gut a deer.
7. Do you ever cry? If so, what’s your trigger?
I’ve been known to tear up when thinking about Carter, my old puppy. Every six months or so, I cry over the fact that my parents are so unbelievably fucked up that they’ve missed the last five years of my kids. And me.
8. Do you have a chivalrous streak? How does it manifest itself?
Totally. I open doors. I call women “ma’am.” I let ladies go first in nearly all circumstances. I let Moms-with-Kids skip ahead of me in line. All kinds of little things. I even make sweeping, knight-like gestures to indicate they should go first.
I don’t talk excessively to women to whom I’m being chilvalrous, lest they think I’m just trying to bang them.
9. Do you have a chauvinistic streak? How does it manifest itself?
Internal disdain for rich, white, Westchester women.
10. What’s your favorite movie?
Blade Runner is up there. I’m not really sure.
11. What’s the dumbest, testosterone-inspired thing you’ve ever done?
It’s a 30-way tie of one-night stands. This is separate from non-one-night stands. I had issues.
12. What quality do you think makes a good man good? Do you have that quality?
A real man is confident enough in himself to not be a dickhead. I do have that quality.
13. Toilet seat up or down?
Down, whenever it’s a mixed-gender environment. I used to live with three women. I understand these things. However, when I had my own apartment, I made sure to tell everyone to leave the seat UP.
14. If your wife/partner/significant other is away, do you cook for yourself or eat out of cans and boxes (or rely on local drive-throughs and delivery)?
I’ll usually get take out. Or cans. Or boxes. Or green dog biscuits. YUMMY.
15. What societal expectation of being a man do you most resent?
I’d like to be able to mess with my appearance more for fun, and it would be pretty cool to run around commando in a skirt. But NO, that’s not ACCEPTABLE.
16. What’s the best part - societal-wise - about being a man?
Bathroom lines are WAY shorter, which rocks.
17. Will you stop to ask for directions?
More and more. I used to be TERRIBLE at it. No I just kind of suck.
18. What’s the one thing you wish your wife/partner/significant other understood about how you think or behave?
That my routines are real, and to respect them.
19. What’s one thing about your wife/partner/significant other that you just cannot understand, no matter how hard you try?
Nothing comes to mind.
20. What do you need to have in the shower?
Soap, yo.
21. Do you burp/fart/scratch in public? Do you do anything stereotypically male?
I never do any of those in public. Stereotypically male? I fall in love/lust about a hundred times a day: I work in Manhattan!
22. How big a part does porn play in your life? Your thoughts?
Well, I’m a fan of decent lesbian porn… but that’s a rare thing.
23. What scares you?
Global warming. I honestly think we’re doomed, and that my kids might have a really hard time of it.
24. What’s your best feature (physical or otherwise)?
I’m happy most of the time, and I like have a positive impact on the vibe of wherever I happen to be.25. What would you do for love?
Almost anything. It depends on for whom I was doing these things.
And that is all. Phew! Thanks, Ms. Chili!
Love to all. Even you, the jackass with his hat over his eyes.
Entries (RSS)
February 25th, 2008 at 8:14 pm
I’m glad I’m not a rich, white Westchester woman!!! Interesting meme and absolutely what I would have expected. But alas…#24 - your best feature…what about those ankles????
February 25th, 2008 at 8:47 pm
YOU rock! You’re the first one to complete the meme (and I LOVE your answers… except for the dog biscuits. eeew).
I’m off to edit my post to include this link. Welcome back!!
February 25th, 2008 at 8:49 pm
[...] The first to respond was RICH!! [...]
February 25th, 2008 at 8:58 pm
Awesome interview.
Great questions. Awesome answers
And Richie, #15 is a kilt and yes, you can.
http://www.utilikilts.com/
February 25th, 2008 at 9:42 pm
Dog biscuits are nutritious. Boxer briefs are the only serious answer. Decent lesbian porn is almost impossible to create. Is that bold part directed at me? RTFM? Clearly NYC is the best place for beautiful women, what’s the second best place in your opinion? For some reason paper clip made me laugh.
February 25th, 2008 at 9:46 pm
I asked my husband #5 [morbid curiousity], and he blurted “WHY? What’re you trying to TRICK ME FOR?”
*sigh*
I wear boxer briefs, too.
[I'd say we're about even now...]
February 25th, 2008 at 9:51 pm
Routines are not things to be mocked. Not ever.
Loved reading your list!
February 25th, 2008 at 10:10 pm
Excellent answers!
February 25th, 2008 at 10:38 pm
Hey, you’re me with externals. And no boobs. Except. I know how to gut a deer.
Welcome back to blogging. This was a fun read.
February 26th, 2008 at 4:09 am
Oh so MANLY.
February 26th, 2008 at 12:25 pm
It is completely acceptable to mess with how you look for fun.
Metro is so IN now!
February 27th, 2008 at 7:59 am
I loved reading this. Especially you purposefully repeating “bang” just to sound particularly manly. I’ve always preferred “pound” or “hammer”
And yeah, there are too many beautiful women in Manhattan (where models truly do walk among mortals) and too many snooty rich white women in Westchester. But how many of either group are as happy and fun and cool as YOU? Not many, I’ve wager
February 27th, 2008 at 7:59 am
That’s *I’d* wager. Damn.
March 3rd, 2008 at 10:18 am
You never learned to gut a deer? Dude! What a pussy.
