Comments on: Wishing for rage. http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/ Mon, 08 Sep 2008 16:50:36 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Themom http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7815 Themom Fri, 01 Feb 2008 11:30:06 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7815 OK - here's a BIIIIIIIG hug from this MOM! You make me want to "make it all go away" as a mother should. I have said before that I can sincerely empathize with you and I think venting, either by blog, verbal or other outlet is therapeutic. As far as jumping out of a moving car - I may have a problem with that one. Step back...and give ALL your love to those nearest to you (Maggie and children)...you receive more than you know by your kindnesses. The parents have made their own hell and must be comfortable there, a real shame...to miss out on such a fine family as yours - THEIR LOSS! WE LOVE YA!! OK - here’s a BIIIIIIIG hug from this MOM! You make me want to “make it all go away” as a mother should. I have said before that I can sincerely empathize with you and I think venting, either by blog, verbal or other outlet is therapeutic. As far as jumping out of a moving car - I may have a problem with that one. Step back…and give ALL your love to those nearest to you (Maggie and children)…you receive more than you know by your kindnesses. The parents have made their own hell and must be comfortable there, a real shame…to miss out on such a fine family as yours - THEIR LOSS! WE LOVE YA!!

]]> By: renn http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7812 renn Fri, 01 Feb 2008 03:31:30 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7812 When sadness comes, acceptance follows. There is no timeline for this, so don't push it. I am so, so very sorry. For everything. When sadness comes, acceptance follows.

There is no timeline for this, so don’t push it.

I am so, so very sorry.

For everything.

]]> By: Lisa http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7802 Lisa Thu, 31 Jan 2008 16:58:21 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7802 I'm so sad reading this. You can't do anything to change your parents, but OF COURSE you want them to act like loving, caring people. And even though I'm sure they love you, they cannot get past their own shit. It's not a reflection of you - you're great - but I'm sure it makes you feel terrible. As for the rest of it - I'm glad you're able to deconstruct the layers of emotion and anger leading up to the fight. Big hugs to you all. I’m so sad reading this. You can’t do anything to change your parents, but OF COURSE you want them to act like loving, caring people. And even though I’m sure they love you, they cannot get past their own shit. It’s not a reflection of you - you’re great - but I’m sure it makes you feel terrible. As for the rest of it - I’m glad you’re able to deconstruct the layers of emotion and anger leading up to the fight. Big hugs to you all.

]]> By: A. http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7792 A. Thu, 31 Jan 2008 01:28:34 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7792 It is the most basic of needs -- to be loved unconditionally by a parent. It isn't fair when that doesn't happen. and it doesn't happen for many many children who then grow up to be adults who still long for that love, that acceptance. It stunts a person to be victimized in childhood, whatever the victimization. You get stuck emotionally, usually at the age where the awareness of the trauma/victimization began. I think you've done an amazing job of reconciling with what was missing from your childhood, but even those among us who have "worked on our issues" are allowed some moments where we still mourn the loss of something that never was, never can be. There is great pain there, my friend. Pain that can stop you in your tracks, that can take your breath away. Living into it is hard, but important. I am not a huge fan of the anthropomorphizing of the Divine, much less the reductionist image of a paternal figure for a Creator. However, one of the reasons I still embrace it as a valid, even vital, image of God is for times when our biological parents do not (cannot, will not) function as parents. You are in my prayers, and I send Light and Love your way. oh and the tat sounds great! and cathartic. It is the most basic of needs — to be loved unconditionally by a parent. It isn’t fair when that doesn’t happen. and it doesn’t happen for many many children who then grow up to be adults who still long for that love, that acceptance. It stunts a person to be victimized in childhood, whatever the victimization. You get stuck emotionally, usually at the age where the awareness of the trauma/victimization began. I think you’ve done an amazing job of reconciling with what was missing from your childhood, but even those among us who have “worked on our issues” are allowed some moments where we still mourn the loss of something that never was, never can be. There is great pain there, my friend. Pain that can stop you in your tracks, that can take your breath away. Living into it is hard, but important. I am not a huge fan of the anthropomorphizing of the Divine, much less the reductionist image of a paternal figure for a Creator. However, one of the reasons I still embrace it as a valid, even vital, image of God is for times when our biological parents do not (cannot, will not) function as parents. You are in my prayers, and I send Light and Love your way.

oh and the tat sounds great! and cathartic.

]]> By: Christi http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7787 Christi Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:42:53 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7787 Hang in there! I wish things could be better for you with your parents. The only thing I can think of to say is what I have experienced with the loss of a family member. The sadness comes from what you wish your life would be with that family member(s) and the experiences that will be missed with them. Having kids even makes it harder, because you can feel how they are missing out. The fact that your parents are still here on this earth and are choosing this makes it even harder. I am sorry for the loss of the relationship with your parents, even if it is an unhealthy situation to be in, it is still a loss. Happy Birthday - a few days early. Hang in there! I wish things could be better for you with your parents.
The only thing I can think of to say is what I have experienced with the loss of a family member.
The sadness comes from what you wish your life would be with that family member(s) and the experiences that will be missed with them. Having kids even makes it harder, because you can feel how they are missing out.

The fact that your parents are still here on this earth and are choosing this makes it even harder. I am sorry for the loss of the relationship with your parents, even if it is an unhealthy situation to be in, it is still a loss.

Happy Birthday - a few days early.

]]> By: M&Co. http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7786 M&Co. Wed, 30 Jan 2008 20:39:11 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7786 I'm sorry. I’m sorry.

]]> By: DCup http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7782 DCup Wed, 30 Jan 2008 17:31:50 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7782 Ah, Rich. I've done the let me out of this car thing. Long walk, high heels. Yeah, my anger was my companion as I stomped down the street. I'm sorry for that issue with you and Maggie, but glad you got beyond it. Love the tat idea. It fits you. And I'm glad you got the acknowledgement you needed. I live with passive agressive parents. Well, I don't live with them. They are safely in Indiana while I'm in Georgia. Nonviolent grudge holders. I steer clear as much as I can. I hurt for you, though, for your loss of your relationship with your parents. Happy birthday, early. Ah, Rich. I’ve done the let me out of this car thing. Long walk, high heels. Yeah, my anger was my companion as I stomped down the street. I’m sorry for that issue with you and Maggie, but glad you got beyond it.

Love the tat idea. It fits you. And I’m glad you got the acknowledgement you needed.

I live with passive agressive parents. Well, I don’t live with them. They are safely in Indiana while I’m in Georgia. Nonviolent grudge holders. I steer clear as much as I can. I hurt for you, though, for your loss of your relationship with your parents.

Happy birthday, early.

]]> By: suz http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7781 suz Wed, 30 Jan 2008 16:15:49 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7781 I'm going through something very similar to your argument with maggie with my significant other..I hear you. Hope it all gets better soon. I’m going through something very similar to your argument with maggie with my significant other..I hear you. Hope it all gets better soon.

]]> By: zac http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7778 zac Wed, 30 Jan 2008 15:09:23 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7778 about the tattoo... i heard ya. wish that was enough. about the parents... i gave up on TheDad a long time ago, with no regrets or ill effects. he was a sick man who didn't want to get better, but that's me. about the tattoo… i heard ya. wish that was enough. about the parents… i gave up on TheDad a long time ago, with no regrets or ill effects. he was a sick man who didn’t want to get better, but that’s me.

]]> By: Kizz http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7777 Kizz Wed, 30 Jan 2008 14:50:03 +0000 http://championable.com/2008/01/29/wishing-for-rage/#comment-7777 Sometimes it's way easier to be angry than to be sad. And when you know that there's nothing you can do to change someone or get something that you need, that's sad. I'm sorry. "even you" is brilliant, even when below the approved sleeve line. If you don't have a super fantastic awesome tat artist that you love (and I'm sure that you do) shoot me a line and I'll give you the name of a great guy. Sometimes it’s way easier to be angry than to be sad. And when you know that there’s nothing you can do to change someone or get something that you need, that’s sad.

I’m sorry.

“even you” is brilliant, even when below the approved sleeve line. If you don’t have a super fantastic awesome tat artist that you love (and I’m sure that you do) shoot me a line and I’ll give you the name of a great guy.

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