I firmly believe that any male who orders a Tall Decaf Soy Latte with a straight face causes his and any other male genitalia within a 12-foot radius to fall off the body and flop to the floor, where it vaporizes in a brief flame. Think magician’s flash paper.
The only reason I was able to order this for my coworker was because I have provably reproduced, thereby conferring a sort of Procreative Innoculation. A Vaccine by Reproduction, if you will.
If you haven’t had kids, stay away from that shit.
Love to all. Even you, the lady who didn’t move up in the line… didn’t move up in the line… didn’t move up in the line… and then ran away.
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“…male genitalia … to fall off the body and flop to the floor, where it vaporizes in a brief flame.”
thanks for that image.
ewww.
Vaccine by Reproduction? While I’m not vaccinated, I found this post hilarious.
“For a co-worker”. Um-hmm, yea, sure. J/K
Procreation Innoculation, Vaccine by Reproduction, male genitalia…this post has it all!
Dude, really? I’m NEVER speaking to you AGAIN!
Wanna meet at Sbucks tomorrow morning?
Dude. I mean, REALLY. This is what you’re doing, proclaiming your manhood? I firmly believe in your manhood, proven by your ability to order a variety of coffee beverages. NOW WHERE’S MY POST?
You may as well drink water if that’s what you’re ordering. The mental picture of mass genitalia vaporizing is interesting.
You DO realize, don’t you, that I “SEE” things when I read them?
Great. Not ONLY do I hear Rich Vos now, I “see” stuff nearly falling off you while you buy nasty drinks at SBUX!
Ahhh!
Ah geez, is this the 2007 version of “real men don’t eat quiche?????”
Did you feel the need to explain “it’s for my co-worker” when you ordered? Like the guys who feel the need to say “they’re for my girlfriend” when they buy tampons at the grocery store?
When I was pregnant and couldn’t have sugar or caffeine, my guy co-workers practically went into convulsions ordering me a decaf sugar-free vanilla ice blended. “It’s for our friend at work,” they emphasized. “Take all the fun out of it.”
I can only second the statements made by NFH and Renn. Dude! I’m glad I read this at 9:30 p.m. and not 6:00 a.m. That would be a hell of a way to start the day.
I still haven’t exactly registered what it was you were ordering. Too complicated. Coffee. Black. End of story.
Contrary to popular belief light roast has more caffeine than dark roast (black Coffee). I just figured this out recently and realized that I had been mistaken all my life…
/google it if you don’t believe me
hmmm…that many male genitalia flopping around on the floor before vaporizing…and I live in Ohio where nothing exciting happens. i must make it to the big apple and order coffee soon. Brave man.
Well, I’ve got 5 kids - 2 sets of twins - so I oughta be able to order just about anything I want. Even drinks with umbrellas!