20.25, and Happy Birthday, Dad.

I ran 20.25 miles today. At this point, I just need to be consistent... and not injure myself before March 25. This is no small undertaking. When I went skiing in Vermont LAST year, I threw out my back. Yikes.

Today is my father's birthday. I haven't spoken to him for something like 4 years now. The last time I heard from him was when he threatened Maggie and my father-in-law because I cc'd him on an email to my Great Aunt congratulating her on the move to California. And that was after three years had passed since there was any kind of communication between us. That kind of non-fading rage is pretty impressive. And frightening.

I had written my Great Aunt this:

Congratulations on the move! What a huge undertaking... I personally suggest you hook yourselves up with one of those fabulous California Spas for some serious pampering.

Things here are great: (Oldest) is skateboarding unbelievably well, and just finished his first season on the swim team. (Daughter) and (Youngest) are in gymnastics camp, and having a ball. Maggie’s got her hands full trying to get everyone where they need to be in a timely manner. As for me, I’ve got my 6th race of the year (and my third half-marathon of 2005) in a week and a half... I’m trying to convince (Cousin) to run it with me. Although if he does, I’m sure he’ll totally leave me in his dust.

Keep us in the loop, we’re really glad to hear what’s up!

And four MINUTES later, I got this from my father:

Never again send email to our address. Never. Keep in mind that your wife and your father-in-law committed felonies when they filed a false police report — and charges can still be brought. It was only on the advice of a Chief of Police for the protection of the children that we did not. Send a email to us just once more, and we will.

Now, he said the things he said in his note for very specific reasons, as far as I can tell. Having the kind of problems that he has: not being able to let anything go without a conclusive decision in his favor, not being able to de-escalate his anger, etc., etc., he's held on to the fact that we called the cops after he sent really threatening letters, and the cops told him to cut the shit or they'd arrest him. It's like he's been waiting, for years, for the opportunity to trump our local policeman with "A Chief of Police." The funny thing was that we didn't file a police report. We just showed them the letters, and the police asked us: "Warn him or arrest him?"

We chose "warn."

His whole "for the sake of the children" thing bugs me, though. For a while, he was making horribly scary threats about doing thing to protect his grandchildren, because Maggie and I were unfit parents for undisclosed reasons. But he never did anything.

And this is what pissed me off, and made me realize that all his raging was impotent, and sad.

Because if he really thought my kids were in danger, he should have done something about it. I would have expected nothing less from someone who really cared, and who really thought there were problems.

Ugh. Ugh, ugh, ugh.

So, Dad. Happy birthday. I can't believe that you're missing out on your grandchildren's lives. It's so unnecessary. I hope you get whatever help you need, because I know that you're a good person with some serious fucking problems. But you're a good person.

I love you.

Love to all.